I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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