He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
