I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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