I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize