bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
