He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize