just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
