I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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