My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
