what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My brain says no but my pants say off.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
