I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
