Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
