I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're a waste of cheezeits
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
