yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
