I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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