I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
