ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
