Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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