hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
