like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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