He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
