I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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