Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
