I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
