Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
