we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
