I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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