Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
