im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
