I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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