I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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