i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
