you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Randomize
