Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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