Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
