It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
