yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
