am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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