Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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