I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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