After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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