ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
