Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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