You can't special order awesome
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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