I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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