How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
