Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
