I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
