So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
