Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
