Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
