I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
