The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
