We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
