singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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