he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
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