chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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