Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
