Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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