Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
