32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
