That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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