Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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