It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize