Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
