I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize