sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
And then he peed in my hair
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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