Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
